The Message continues to speak very fresh words to me. Maybe it's that it's been so long since I have read these passages at all, but I really am hearing some of these words as if I've never heard them before. Her's one passage that really speaks to me: "These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on." I so often hear or quote scripture as incidental comments, but it really must become foundational to me. It has been founcdational before, but that has been years ago. I've gotten away from inspirational reading at all, and it's been a LONG time since I turned to the Bible for guidance.
Wesley's commentary makes an observation I've never thought of before. Near the end of Matthew 8, Jesus allows the demon spirits to go into a herd of pigs, which then runs off a cliff into the sea and drowns. I've always known that pigs were undesirable animals to Jews (because of their being forbidden as food), but Wesley comments that it was illegal for Jews to own pigs. Therefore, Wesley says, allowing the spirits to kill the pigs was a humane way for the illegal and undesirable animals to be disposed of. And then Matthew tells how angry the townspeople were over the loss of the pigs, even though they knew they shouldn't have had the pigs to begin with. "They loved their swine so much better then their own souls!" Wesley writes. "How many are of the same mind!" How true that is--that we complain when something bad or harmful or sinful is taken away from us rather than seeing the blessing and protection in the event.
I've always thought of Mark as the book where Jesus moves immediately from one event to the next, but I'm seeing that in Matthew too. In these 3 chapters, Jesus heals so many people, one after the other. No wonder the people were so drawn to him. But he isn't easy to follow. Too many of us want a quick fix without really making life changes. Really loving him and following him means that we give ourselves back to him, not just that we take from him.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Sermon on the Mount
What a different spin reading The Message puts on this passage. I've always been able to read the Sermon on the Mount fairly impersonally, but with The Message, I couldn't do that. It really hit me between the eyes. The commands and comments were so personal, so modern, so immediate. Jesus preaches such humility, such selflessness, such other-awareness. That's so different from our culture where we are encouraged to be the center of everything.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Living a Purpose-Driven Life
Jason and I have finished 27 days of our 40 days of reading The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren, and we're developing some action plans for the kinds of behaviors we want to make habits of. Jason and I have each started daily Bible-reading plans, and he's blogging his thoughts, so I thought I would change my blog settings and use mine similarly.
I always enjoyed journaling but haven't done much of that in several years. I'll have to work on finding time to regularly blog, but once we finish the book, we won't be blogging there anymore. I like writing down my thoughts because it forces me to try to make sense of things that confuse me.
My Bible-reading plan is to work through the New Testament in about 3 months. In addition to reading the scripture itself, I also want to read some commentary to give me an expanded perspective. Today I read Matthew Henry, but I don't want to continue with him. Jason found John Wesley's commentary at crosswalk.com, so I think I'll look for it.
I read matthew 1-3 today in The Message translation and enjoyed the fresh look at Jesus' geneology, birth, and baptism. One thing that really stood out for me was how trusting and obedient Joseph was. I'm sure he had friends and family members who advised him not to marry Mary, but he trusted that his dream was truly from God. I wonder how often he doubted himself, and I wonder how much he and Mary talked about all of that. We tend to think of them as wooden characters who just did what was appointed to them, but they were real people with fears and doubts and questions. They were no different from anyone else whom God gives a job to. I want to develop that kind of trusting and obedient nature.
I always enjoyed journaling but haven't done much of that in several years. I'll have to work on finding time to regularly blog, but once we finish the book, we won't be blogging there anymore. I like writing down my thoughts because it forces me to try to make sense of things that confuse me.
My Bible-reading plan is to work through the New Testament in about 3 months. In addition to reading the scripture itself, I also want to read some commentary to give me an expanded perspective. Today I read Matthew Henry, but I don't want to continue with him. Jason found John Wesley's commentary at crosswalk.com, so I think I'll look for it.
I read matthew 1-3 today in The Message translation and enjoyed the fresh look at Jesus' geneology, birth, and baptism. One thing that really stood out for me was how trusting and obedient Joseph was. I'm sure he had friends and family members who advised him not to marry Mary, but he trusted that his dream was truly from God. I wonder how often he doubted himself, and I wonder how much he and Mary talked about all of that. We tend to think of them as wooden characters who just did what was appointed to them, but they were real people with fears and doubts and questions. They were no different from anyone else whom God gives a job to. I want to develop that kind of trusting and obedient nature.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
It's Not about Me
What does it mean to say that my life is not about me?? What does it mean for me to really let God's purposes drive my life? Jason and I started reading The Purpose Driven Life tonight, and those questions are raised in the first chapter.
I've always known that God had a special purpose for me, that I was "tagged" by God for some reason. I was 5 or 6 when I first had that sense. In fact, I asked Mother about that time if we were real or if we were on a stage acting for God. I had a strong sense of God's real-ness and presence even at that young age.
Then when I was in college, I spent one day meeting with a local "prayer warrior' and missionary talking about God's call on my life. I had experienced a renewed sense of being called to some form of mission work and was trying to sort out what that meant. We talked about missionary work and ministry and other options, and I thought about those things (and prayed about them too, I hope). But it was about that time that I met Leo, whom I married 3 years later, and I think I wanted him so much that I sort of ran from whatever God wanted for me. I guess I pulled a Jonah. I wanted what I wanted, and I told myself that it didn't conflict with whatever God wanted from me.
Whether I was honest with myself or not, I can't say for sure. What I do know is that after Leo died, I really was drawn into God's presence in a new way. He became so real to me, and I again felt a call to serve him with my life's work. I got involved in music ministry and then in leading worship. And then I started working on deacon's orders in the UMC. I also went to Asbury Seminary for a degree in counseling, and when I graduated, I took an assistant pastor's postition at my home church. That was satisfying, and I enjoyed much of the work, but there were also many things I was asked to do in the job that I didn't want to do. I resisted doing home visitation, blaming it on my shyness or my unfamiliarity with certain people. I know my visits were valuable for the folks I spent time with, but I really hated making most of those visits. I had 2 other ministry positions later which also required me to make those kinds of visits, and I again balked at doing that.
I hadn't put all of that together until just now--how much I disliked that element of my ministry positions. As I reflect on those jobs, I think I often idealize them and dream for "the good old days" when I was a pastor. But I don't know that I've ever been perfectly satisfied with any work I've done. I've always wanted a different type of fulfillment or a different level of happiness. I've always thought there ought to be more.
I sometimes question whether I'm supposed to be in a ministry position now, even though I know that I do ministry in my teaching. Maybe that's something this book will help me explore. How can I find contentment in my life and my work and KNOW that I'm pleasing God and meeting his purposes?
I've always known that God had a special purpose for me, that I was "tagged" by God for some reason. I was 5 or 6 when I first had that sense. In fact, I asked Mother about that time if we were real or if we were on a stage acting for God. I had a strong sense of God's real-ness and presence even at that young age.
Then when I was in college, I spent one day meeting with a local "prayer warrior' and missionary talking about God's call on my life. I had experienced a renewed sense of being called to some form of mission work and was trying to sort out what that meant. We talked about missionary work and ministry and other options, and I thought about those things (and prayed about them too, I hope). But it was about that time that I met Leo, whom I married 3 years later, and I think I wanted him so much that I sort of ran from whatever God wanted for me. I guess I pulled a Jonah. I wanted what I wanted, and I told myself that it didn't conflict with whatever God wanted from me.
Whether I was honest with myself or not, I can't say for sure. What I do know is that after Leo died, I really was drawn into God's presence in a new way. He became so real to me, and I again felt a call to serve him with my life's work. I got involved in music ministry and then in leading worship. And then I started working on deacon's orders in the UMC. I also went to Asbury Seminary for a degree in counseling, and when I graduated, I took an assistant pastor's postition at my home church. That was satisfying, and I enjoyed much of the work, but there were also many things I was asked to do in the job that I didn't want to do. I resisted doing home visitation, blaming it on my shyness or my unfamiliarity with certain people. I know my visits were valuable for the folks I spent time with, but I really hated making most of those visits. I had 2 other ministry positions later which also required me to make those kinds of visits, and I again balked at doing that.
I hadn't put all of that together until just now--how much I disliked that element of my ministry positions. As I reflect on those jobs, I think I often idealize them and dream for "the good old days" when I was a pastor. But I don't know that I've ever been perfectly satisfied with any work I've done. I've always wanted a different type of fulfillment or a different level of happiness. I've always thought there ought to be more.
I sometimes question whether I'm supposed to be in a ministry position now, even though I know that I do ministry in my teaching. Maybe that's something this book will help me explore. How can I find contentment in my life and my work and KNOW that I'm pleasing God and meeting his purposes?
Monday, February 4, 2008
I'm a GREAT aunt
This morning, my niece gave birth to her first child, a daughter--Audrey Elaine. I am officially a great-aunt. I had talked to Erin last night about her pregnancy and how she was feeling and what she expected, but we sure didn't expect her to develop problems overnight and require an immediate emergency C-section before noon today.
Her mother (my sister) called me at 8:00 this morning with news that Erin's heart rate had become rapid during the night, forcing her and Dennis to go to the emergency room. The due date had been February 2, so the baby was full term and supposedly ready to make her arrival, so that wasn't a concern for us. But Erin's health seemed to be in question. They got her heart rate under control and planned to induce labor this evening at 6:00. So we started making plans.
But at 11:00, Connie called to say the baby was distressed and the doctor was doing an immediate emergency C-section. They apparently really meant "immediate" because Audrey was born at 11:40. I've seen 2 pictures so far--one sent by the proud mother and one by the proud grandmother. Statistics are as follows: 6'4", 19" long, with a litle bit of peach-colored fuzz on her head and HUGE feet.
I'm struggling with bronchitis, laryngitis, and a horrible cough, so I guess I need to steer clear for a few days. I'm seeing my PA tomorrow. If I can start a round of antibiotics, I should be relatively germ free by the weekend. Maybe I can go see her after they get out of the hospital.
Her mother (my sister) called me at 8:00 this morning with news that Erin's heart rate had become rapid during the night, forcing her and Dennis to go to the emergency room. The due date had been February 2, so the baby was full term and supposedly ready to make her arrival, so that wasn't a concern for us. But Erin's health seemed to be in question. They got her heart rate under control and planned to induce labor this evening at 6:00. So we started making plans.
But at 11:00, Connie called to say the baby was distressed and the doctor was doing an immediate emergency C-section. They apparently really meant "immediate" because Audrey was born at 11:40. I've seen 2 pictures so far--one sent by the proud mother and one by the proud grandmother. Statistics are as follows: 6'4", 19" long, with a litle bit of peach-colored fuzz on her head and HUGE feet.
I'm struggling with bronchitis, laryngitis, and a horrible cough, so I guess I need to steer clear for a few days. I'm seeing my PA tomorrow. If I can start a round of antibiotics, I should be relatively germ free by the weekend. Maybe I can go see her after they get out of the hospital.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Creative Non-fiction
I went to a reading today at the college library by (Leif) Eric Rigney on writing creative non-fiction. He talked about what creative non-fiction is and read several of his pieces about his life. I really enjoyed listening to his stories, and I realized I want to record some of my stories similarly. I've always enjoyed recording on paper my experiences--trying to recreate details that colored the story and gave it depth and a sense of realism--but I never thought about that type of writing as a genre. I'm going to start on a couple of pieces and see what happens.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Destiny is tied to the destination
Jon Weese spoke tonight about how our destiny in life is tied to our destination. In other words, what we do with our lives--our actions, our treatment of others, our attitudes and behaviors--is tied to where we are headed. If I am headed to heaven--to spend eternity in God's presence--I must live out that destination. That is my destiny.
I've never been one to live in the hope of "pie in the sky someday." Heaven is great to long for and dream about, but dreaming about it doesn't make for a very productive life. In my work as a pastor, I tried to help people see value in the right now, the moment, today. Wishing for what will come one day keeps people focused on themselves, not on serving other people, and I think that's a faulty way to live.
So Jon's words tonight got me thinking about what I'm doing of value right now. I know that my teaching has value, and I know that I make a positive difference for a lot of people most days. But I also am aware that I drift too much, that I waste a lot of time. Days go by without my ever thinking about what I need to be doing for the kingdom. I want to be more destiny focused. I know my destination; I want the destiny to be experienced moment by moment.
I've never been one to live in the hope of "pie in the sky someday." Heaven is great to long for and dream about, but dreaming about it doesn't make for a very productive life. In my work as a pastor, I tried to help people see value in the right now, the moment, today. Wishing for what will come one day keeps people focused on themselves, not on serving other people, and I think that's a faulty way to live.
So Jon's words tonight got me thinking about what I'm doing of value right now. I know that my teaching has value, and I know that I make a positive difference for a lot of people most days. But I also am aware that I drift too much, that I waste a lot of time. Days go by without my ever thinking about what I need to be doing for the kingdom. I want to be more destiny focused. I know my destination; I want the destiny to be experienced moment by moment.
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